The Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Violence Agency has reiterated that marriage does not erase the need for consent, stressing that intimacy between spouses should be based on mutual agreement rather than obligation.
In a public advisory shared on its official X page, the agency explained that respecting a partner’s decision to engage or not engage in intimacy is key to building trust, love, and safety in marriage.
“Consent doesn’t stop at the wedding altar,” the DSVA stated. “In a healthy marriage, intimacy is a shared choice, not an obligation. Respecting your partner’s ‘yes’ or ‘no’ builds trust, love, and safety.”
The agency emphasised that consent should meet the “F.R.I.E.S” standard — Freely given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, and Specific.
According to the DSVA, “reversible” means a person can withdraw consent at any point before or during an intimate act, and the other partner must stop immediately.
“For your information: silence is no, reluctance is no,” the statement read. “The safest and most respectful approach is to check in and ensure your partner remains comfortable from start to finish.”
The agency further noted that if a partner only expresses discomfort after intimacy has ended, it could still amount to sexual misconduct depending on the circumstances — particularly if the initial consent was obtained through pressure, fear, or without full information.
“This may not fit the definition of withdrawal during the act, but it could still be a violation if consent was coerced,” the DSVA added.
It urged couples to practice ongoing, clear, and enthusiastic consent, saying this not only prevents abuse but also strengthens relationships.
